Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
Ambition often puts Men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same position with creeping.
The want of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.
I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution.
The most positive men are the most credulous.
It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death should ever have been designed by Providence as an evil to mankind.
He showed me his bill of fare to tempt me to dine with him; said I, I value not your bill of fare, give me your bill of company.
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.
I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little, odious vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.
We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.
I said there was a society of men among us, bred up from their youth in the art of proving by words multiplied for the purpose, that white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid. To this society all the rest of the people are as slaves.
Come, agree, the law's costly.
Principally I hate and detest that animal called man; although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth.
Poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance.
It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind.
If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.
Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind of reception it meets in the world, and that so very few are offended with it.
A footman may swear; but he cannot swear like a lord. He can swear as often: but can he swear with equal delicacy, propriety, and judgment?
May you live all the days of your life.
Where I am not understood, it shall be concluded that something very useful and profound is couched underneath.
Once kick the world, and the world and you will live together at a reasonably good understanding.
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