S. J. Perelman
Quotations

English life, while very pleasant, is rather bland. I expected kindness and gentility and I found it, but there is such a thing as too much couth.

The main obligation is to amuse yourself.

There is something about a home aquarium which sets my teeth on edge the moment I see it. Why anyone would want to live with a small container of stagnant water populated by a half-dead guppy is beyond me.

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he's given the freedom to starve anywhere.

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