Dorothy Parker

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Scratch a lover and find a foe.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

They sicken of the calm, who know the storm.

Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "check enclosed."

Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Work is the province of cattle.

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

Art is a form of catharsis.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Men seldom makes passes
At girls who wear glasses.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand and there you are.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

Love is like quick-silver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.

The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

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