I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens, And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit... So here we are several billion of us, crowded into our global concentration camp for the duration. How are we to survive? Solemnity is not the answer, any more than witless and irresponsible frivolity is. I think our best chance lies in humor, which in this case means a wry acceptance of our predicament. We don't have to like it but we can at least recognize its ridiculous aspects, one of which is ourselves.
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
I believe that people believe what they believe they believe.
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.
Memorable Quotations: American Humorists and Wits
Memorable Quotations: Poets (A - C)
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Memorable Quotations: Poets of the Past (Kindle Book)