H. L. Mencken
No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married, too.
Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The only cure for contempt is countercontempt.
There are people who read too much: bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as other men are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing.
It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.
The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
It is impossible to think of a man of any actual force and originality, universally recognized as having those qualities, who spent his whole life appraising and describing the work of other men.
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
Memorable Quotations: H.L. Mencken
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Journalists of the Past (Kindle Book)