An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.
Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel underneath.
I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
Happiness is not something you experience, it's something you remember.
Under this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
I am no more humble than my talents require.
I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?
I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
I don't drink; I don't like it--it makes me feel good.
There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Memorable Quotations: American Humorists and Wits
Memorable Quotations: American Novelists
American Novelists of the Past (Kindle Book)
Memorable Quotations: American Philosophers
American Philosophers of the Past (Kindle Book)
Memorable Quotations: Humorists, Wits, Satirists
Memorable Quotations: Humorists, Wits, and Satirists of the Past
(Kindle Book and Paperback)
Memorable Quotations: Musicians