Garrison Keillor
Quotations


Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that itís compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.

The funniest line in English is ďGet it?Ē When you say that, everyone chortles.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You donít put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.



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