Ben Elton
Quotations

No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.

The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.

If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.

The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.

People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.

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